I Am Happy

Hey, let’s just jump in.

So yes, I am so happy at the moment. Like disgustingly, uncomfortably, annoyingly happy. It even freaks me out how happy I am. Every day I wake up and think, maybe today is the day where I will wake up and snap out of it. But it’s been over a month and that hasn’t happened yet.

If you didn’t know, I was not in a good place last year. Not going to dwell on that for long, but since I am so much happier now, I’ve been trying to look at my life and figure out why I am happy all of a sudden. I think I’ve figured it out. So while this is post is for your entertainment, it’s also for me to look back on in case the dreadful day comes when I wake up and realize that I am yet again unhappy.

Reason #1: My room is clean.

Woah, what a concept. My room being clean has made me exponentially happy. While it is easier to keep a bigger room clean I’ve noticed, I think it’s also easy to keep a room clean when you take pride in it. It also just makes me feel more relaxed. A messy space really can fog your head and cause you to be stressed.

Reason #2: I have been reading.

Reading has become apart of my nightly routine. I am circulating three books right now: Eat, Pray, Love, Girl, Wash Your Face, and He’s Just Not That Into You. Eat, Pray, Love is one of the most beautifully written books ever. Girl, Wash Your Face helps me to feel better about myself. He’s Just Not That Into You is surprisingly empowering. I also do a devotion every night and idk I wasn’t going to mention that but I do and I’ve really been liking it.

Reason #3: I have found a workout routine I actually like.

I have been going to the gym at least 4-5 times a week consistently since school has started and I am loving it. I have also added running to my workout routine and man, I forgot how happy it makes me. I practically skip out of the gym now. Must be all of those endorphins.

Reason #4: More windows in my room.

NATURAL LIGHTING IS SO IMPORTANT I CAN’T STRESS IT ENOUGH. I wake up at the butt crack of dawn now because I refuse to close my blinds and even though I hate it, I LOVE it. Watching the sun rise every day is invigorating and even when it rains I can’t help but be overcome by the beauty of the gray.

Reason #5: I don’t hate my classes or my schedule.

My schedule for the entirety of last year was legitimately the worst for my mental health. I am so happy to be done with those draining and taxing classes.

Reason #6: Self-Care

A lot of things I mentioned are a part of my self-care routine, but I have also been enjoying drawing and painting again. I do write too, just never anything long enough to post (sorry about that ).

There are so many other reasons, but these are the main ones that I can pinpoint. I would also say that being more organized has made me happier as well. I could say my friendships, but those haven’t changed much since last year in the best way possible. These are the main six that really stand out to me. Anyway, this is exciting I am really happy to be happy.

I wish I could tell you how to feel happier if you aren’t feeling that way right now. I just really can’t. Being happy again took so much time and effort and happiness is much harder for some people to achieve. Of course I’m not happy 24/7, but I never go a full day being sad, and that’s important. I hope you find your own path to happiness if you haven’t reached it, regardless of whether it’s on your own or with some guidance.

-your favorite people person

Studying A Broad Part 1

I AM NOT IN THE UNITED STATES!!!! I WILL BE WRITING EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE TRIP. TECHNICALLY THIS IS FOR AN ASSIGNMENT, BUT LIKE, I WAS DOING IT ANYWAY, SO.

DAY 1

Devin’s Boots Were Not Made For Walking

 

We went to the Fashion & Textile Museum in London and saw the Orla Kiely exhibit which was honestly one of the coolest installments I’ve seen besides “You Are Here.” Her patterns are just so Wes Anderson and nostalgic and I really liked them all.

       

We also popped into this random art exhibit that was recommended to us and it was actually really cool and definitely surprised all of us.

  

 

Then we went to Borough Market and I got a bomb vegan cheeseburger. After that, we saw some iconic tourist spots like the Globe Theater, the London Bridge, and the London Eye. Obviously, we sang London Bridge at the London Bridge.

  (It’s not as cute as I thought it would be.)

We went to the Friary, which is basically a mall, after we got back from the train and walked around some stores. I bought a purse at Primark which is like Forever 21 and WalMart all in one. After that Emily, Alex, Stephanie, and I ate at this place called Nando’s. I had to walk up two flights of stairs to get to the ‘toilets’.

We also went to Tesco to get some groceries and the walk was far but gave us a chance to talk and bond, ya know the cheesy stuff.

When we got back we tried to figure out where to go for the weekend. It was a lot of back and forth and everyone trying to avoid where they were going after the trip was over, but FINALLY, Emily brought up Vienna and we found out the tickets were cheap and we just decided to do it. We bought over tickets and booked our Air BnB and that was that. If only it didn’t take us until 1 AM to figure it out.

I WALKED TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED FIFTY-THREE STEPS.

It was a really long day, lol.

 

Music Part 3

Alright! Look at me being somewhat consistent and doing things that make me happy!!!!!

We all know about my music obsession. What I don’t talk about often is the arsenal of my favorite lyrics from over 90 songs I have written in the notes on my phone. I decided to share some of them with you and why I like them so much and hope you’ll check out the songs too.

“And when she stood, she stood tall.”- “Slow It Down”-The Lumineers

Besides the fact that I’m a very tall gal, this song lyric has always been a favorite of mine because I want to be that girl who is confident always and never backs down.

“I don’t have a choice, but I’d still choose you.”- “Poison & Wine”- The Civil Wars

I just like that although this person feels tethered to this relationship, there is absolutely no one else that they’d rather be with. It’s kind of cool and *ew* romantic.

“Come look into the music and you won’t feel pain.”- “Woodstock”- Jon Bellion

Music has always been my most sought-after escape. So, yeah, I freaking FELT THAT.

“Go figure out your desire.”- “Stand By Your Gun” – George Ezra

Basically, the whole song is about not learning from your mistakes and I think it’s quite fitting to my life. Go figure out what you want and do that before you regret not doing it.

“I just look in your eyes, they tell me everything.”- “Love Again”- Gibbz

I like this line a lot because I kind of have a problem concealing my emotions. I really am so terrible at hiding them because they’re written all over my face.

“I care for myself the way I used to care about you.”- “Hard Feelings/LOVELESS”- Lorde

YES. YES. YES. LOVE YOURSELF PEOPLE. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. WOW.

“Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you.”- “New Year’s Day”- Taylor Swift

Your memories stick with you even if the people go away. They’re there to comfort you and guide you.

“When you swallow someone whole you are bound to choke”- “Tiger Teeth”- Walk the Moon

They also say “I ate you up the day we first spoke.” I think that this song is about putting your all into a relationship and not really getting anything out of it, then trying to go back to that person after knowing they’re not good for you. Could apply to any type of relationship honestly.

“But people change, thank God I did.”- “East Northumberland High”- Miley Cyrus

Come on people, how do you not love this lyric. It’s been 11 years and I still listen to this song on a regular basis.

AND FINALLY

“I am the one thing in life I can control.”- “Wait For It”- Hamilton

We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it. This should’ve been an obvious thing to me, but when I really thought about this line it blew my mind. Every decision we make is our own to make, but after that who knows what will happen. LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA IS A GENIUS.

Okay, I really could go on forever. Let me know if you’d want a part 2.

That might be a moot point because I will definitely be writing a second part.

-your favorite people person

 

 

 

Who Is She???

Do you ever look back at old pictures and think: Who are they? Who is that girl who used to laugh at anything and everything? Who is that girl with no worries and no fears just drifting through life? Who is that girl who is so brave and beautiful?

What made that girl so confident? What made her so happy? What made her want to have all eyes on her and be the center of attention? What made her feel so alive?

When did I stop being that girl? When did I lose that feeling of freedom? When did I  realize that I wasn’t her any longer? When did my friends realize–have they realized– that I am a different girl?

Where did I go wrong? Where did I go right? Where did I learn the lessons that made me who I am now? Where did I become who I am now? Where was the place that I made this subtle change that changed my life completely?

Why did I let it happen? Why am I so scared and anxious? Why do I care so much less now? Why do I yearn for this girl who is so far from who I am and who I want to be? Why did I let that affect me? Why did I let them affect me? Why am I who I am now?

How do I become her again? How do I become this girl when I have grown and changed so much? How do I become this girl who was so confident, yet so insecure? How do I become this girl who laughed so much, but was much less happier than she appeared? How do I let myself go back to that place when I am so much happier with who I am now?

Taylor Swift has a song lyric that has always and forever resonated with me. She says in her song All Too Well, “I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it.”

I really don’t know who she is anymore. Not Taylor Swift, but me. I don’t know who that girl I used to be is. She seems so far from me. While I still hold her close to me, I don’t know if I want her with me anymore. She may have been so many beautiful things, but there was always something wrong with her. And to be honest, I truly do like who I am now a lot more. She is so hard to say goodbye to, because I truly love her, but she needs to be out of my life.

 

SORRY OMG! That was so deep, like way too deep, but like I needed to vent and DD said I should write again so I did and this is what came out. Last night was one of those introspective nights where you rethink your whole life and who’s in it. I’ve been feeling not like myself lately and I’m starting to realize that may be a good thing.

your favorite (not-so) people person,

Nandi

Event #3- The Iconic CD

Hey what’s up hello. I am knee deep in homework and test prep after a very eventful weekend and decided I needed a break. So what do I do when I need to destress? Write, of course. I know these are being posted sporadically, but life is hard man. I feel like one of those youtubers who post like once every six months and blame it on how busy they are. I used to think that was such a lame excuse, but now I can see where they are coming from. I promise to post at least once a month, hopefully more, but I find that when I feel obligated to do something, even if it’s something I love, that makes me not want to do it. Yikes.

Event #3- The Iconic CD

Ok, if you think you know me well enough, I want you to shout out right now who my favorite band is. 3..2..1.. go!

 

If you screamed the Lumineers you are correct. (Partial credit will be given to those who shouted Walk the Moon or the 1975.) So the Lumineers first album came out in 2012, and I randomly asked for it as a Christmas gift because I really liked the song Ho Hey, I know I was one of those people. But, obviously, asking for that random CD is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

The Lumineers taught me that music is not just something you listen to, but something you feel. You’ve heard me rant countless times about how much I love music –I have two other blog posts about it… just saying– and how much it has impacted my life. Well, the only reason I began to feel this way was because of the Lumineers. Their songs have been with me for the past 5 years of my life. They helped me through the uncertainty of high school, the pain and the growth and the love, and will continue to be with me as i navigate these stressful college years. I have grown up with this band and I can’t describe how much Wes, Neyla, and Jeremiah mean to me.

I finally got to see them in concert this year in Raleigh, and man oh man, what an outer body experience that was. I could rant on and on about my love for them, but I’m going to end this post by saying thanks to my dad for getting me one of the best christmas presents I have ever received.

Don’t people, especially the ones in bands, just rock,

your favorite people person

This Event Shaped My Life?

Don’t you just love clickbait titles! This one is pretty tame seeing as this post will actually be about an event that shaped my life. In case you haven’t read my latest blog, which you should go do, in the upcoming weeks I will write about five events that made me the person I am today. Sorry it’s late, I’ve been busy yada yada, let’s get to it.

Event #2: Getting Braces

Omg yes, these perfect teeth did not just appear out of nowhere. I had braces for a pretty average amount of time, 1 year and 11 months. I like to say that and not two years because it makes me feel cooler. The years one has braces are admittedly some of the worst years ever, but I can only be grateful for that unbearable 1 year and 11 months.

In an earlier post-titled For Kass pt. 1 (I forgot everything she asked me about so there was no part 2)-I talk about my favorite part about myself: MY SMILE (there’s also a whole nother post about smiling, I Wanna See You Smile). Braces literally gave me such an amazing confidence booster in those regrettably awkward teen years I barely survived through. I remember writing in my diary about how I became beautiful once they were finally taken off. I figured I’d get a boyfriend promptly once they were gone-boy was I wrong. Of course I’ve battled with much more insecurity over the years, but braces granted me my first brief glimpse at self-love.  And a tumblr url… nsperfectteeth.

What was I thinking?

Yay! Event #2. Not the most spectacular of occurrences, but a very significant one to me. Shoutout to Dr. Long for fixing up my pearly whites,

your favorite people person

 

Um… hey?

Hey, what’s up? How’s it going? Me? Oh, yeah, I’ve been great.

Alright, alright. I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long, but let me tell you right now college is a doozy and it’s hard to find time to even breathe let alone write. I recently turned 19, so I’ve decided to revive this url and give the people what they want. Or to finally give into my desire of sharing too many of my thoughts and feelings with everyone. You choose.

I’ve been trying to come up with something to talk about for forever. I was going to write about college. How I love my new friends, how I miss my old friends, how my mom became my best friend, how my dog sleeps in my bed every night now that I’m gone, how I text my dad on a regular basis now, how I found out that I’m the purest form of an introverted extrovert, how I became a vegan/vegetarian. And, I mean, if you want me to talk about these things please tell me, but today I’m going to talk about the five “events” that shaped my life. This topic didn’t come out of the blue, it was actually a project for my RA class. Oh yeah, I’m becoming an RA.

1. Scraping my knees on my first day of preschool.     I’ve always been a huge nerd. I got too excited and the clumsy girl that I was, and still am, tripped in the driveway and created to gaping holes in her knees. I was also four, so they were probably just scratches. My dad fixed me up and on that day he became my best friend. A fleeting friendship that wouldn’t last through puberty, but a friendship nonetheless. I also gave up on being perfect that day. My body was officially scarred. I truly believe that day was a catalyst for the many scrapes, bruises, cuts, and gashes to come. I’m sorry mom and dad for being such a nuisance, but it was your genes that made me tall and lanky, so whose fault is it really?

This was number 1. I’m going to span these over five weeks because, thanks to the fast pace of our generation, no one would be able to sit through me explaining all five.

Man, I forgot how fun this was.

I’m back ;-),

your favorite people person

Staying Positive

sorry this is a day late Alaskan service blows

There are really only two conditions of the human experience: very, very happy or about to become very, very happy.
-The Universe
^THIS IS INSANE
OUR WORLD IS INSANE
But we have options of how we can choose to react to our world: we can choose to be vengeful or we can choose peace.
This quote is a daily reminder to me that I can choose happiness regardless of my circumstances.
I can choose hope in spite of the hopelessness the world may seem to possess.
I can choose peace in spite of the civil war being waged in our country.
I can choose kindness in spite of how poorly others are treated.
I can choose love in spite of the hate so many others harbor.
As a society, we can choose to be better people. Or, we can choose to digress to who we used to be 100 years ago.
I still love people though, no matter how much we may suck sometimes.
-your favorite people person

Summer

Hey, long time no talk. Before you get all mad, here me out! Ya girl has been busy!!! Actually ya girl will remain busy throughout the entire summer, but my leave of absence was very temporary and I promise to keep posting on here. In the first three weeks of summer I have learned a lot about myself. Like for instance, I may not hate children as much as I used to. Or, I’m not the pushover I used to be. I can be rebellious when necessary. I stay cool under pressure. I really value my alone time, more than I thought I did. I will go to great lengths to make those I love happy. Fulfilling childhood dreams is awesome *thanks ankle bracelets*. My short temper can be easily relieved. There are more things I have learned, but the biggest one is that I don’t want to be who I’ve been before. I want to treasure all of the relationships in my life. I want to stay in contact with my friends, no matter if I hate texting or not. I want to pursue what makes ME happy, not my parents. I want to stay happy and positive. I want to not care what others think about me. I want to stop caring about how society wants me to look or act. I want to be free and independent. This summer may just be beginning, but I feel as if something amazing awaits.
Three weeks down, six more to go.
-your favorite people person is back

Mamma I Made It

If you don’t follow me on social media, or you just happened to stumble upon this blog and have no idea who I am, I am officially a high school graduate. It honestly still hasn’t hit me yet and I doubt it will hit me until I’m in my dorm room without my parents. But, alas, it is true. Being an adult comes with many responsibilities. I’ve had to ask my mom for advice. Drive myself to graduation parties. I went to a bridal shower, that was fun. Um, I’ve had to let my friends pay for me because I had no money. All in all, being a graduate is pretty easy. What will I do when I’m all by myself with absolutely no help and no way to get home and ask my mommy what to do? I have no idea. I’m a little freaked out to be honest, but they did warn me that I was growing up (I just didn’t think it would happen so suddenly…). There are many things high school didn’t teach me, and now that I’m a big girl I’m realizing that I’m pretty screwed. I guess I could wallow in self-pity, but that’s not my style. Hannah Montana once told me that life’s what you make it. All the mistakes before have led me to this glorious, yet terrifying moment. I’ll make so many mistakes later on in life, heck later on today, but that’s the fun part. I may be nervous for the future, but at least I have one to mold and shape all on my own. Thanks to all the friends and family who have gotten me to where I am today. I hope everyone reading this knows that, no matter how cliche it sounds, your future is bright!!

-your favorite people person